Your Next Chapter

When your long-term marriage suddenly ends, it’s not just the end of a relationship, it's the end of a future you believed you’d have. It’s the end of being with the person you thought was committed to that future too. It destabilizes everything you hold dear, everything you believed to be true. Of course you’re reeling, depressed, and disoriented. Those are reasonable reactions to an unreasonable situation. But when you find yourself -

• Unable to move beyond what happened

• Obsessively thinking about what should have been

• Feeling hopeless about your future

• Finding it impossible to resist checking your ex's social media and pain shopping about what they are up to now

That’s when talk therapy, exercise, and self-help books aren’t likely to work for you (you’ve tried those already, right?). Those methods all require willpower. 

​

Willpower alone does not overcome deeply ingrained patterns and beliefs, especially during a challenging transition like an unexpected divorce in midlife.

Here's why:

• Short-term effectiveness: Willpower is like a muscle that can become fatigued with overuse. It's like taking ibuprofen for a headache. While it may work for short periods, it's difficult to sustain over the long term, especially when dealing with the emotional stress of divorce.

• Conscious effort: Willpower requires constant conscious effort, which can be mentally and emotionally draining. This is particularly challenging when you're already dealing with the exhaustion and stress of unexpected divorce. Many of us don’t have the mental capacity to keep up habits that are “good for us” like healthy eating, sleeping, and exercise. Ugh.

• Doesn't address root causes: Simply trying to force yourself to think or behave differently doesn't address the underlying beliefs and patterns that are sabotaging your progress. Your conscious brain thinks it knows what to do, but the body and subconscious are there to make sure you fail. They control 95% of what you believe and do.​